A lot of my best career opportunities came directly from people I met at networking events. So yes, I go. But I'm an introvert — INFP if you want to get specific — and I had to figure out a version of this that actually works for me rather than drains me.
The biggest shift was giving up on trying to network like an extrovert. I don't stay longer than two hours. I need food and bathroom breaks to decompress. I can't hold my own in a loud group conversation, and I stopped trying to be the loudest person in the room a long time ago. What I'm actually good at is one-on-one conversation — deep listening, asking real follow-up questions, occasionally being funny. That's where I've built the relationships that mattered.
When I arrive somewhere, my first move is always to find the host. It's a low-pressure way to warm up, and hosts know everyone — they'll often introduce you to other guests, which takes the cold-start awkwardness completely off the table.
When I'm approaching someone on my own, I look for people standing alone. I'll catch their eye and smile. If they respond warmly, I walk over and say hi. If I get the polite-but-clearly-not-interested look, I move on without making it weird. The drink or food table is always a good spot to start — easy to strike up something casual before it turns into a real conversation.
Once I'm talking to someone, I aim for 70/30 — they talk, I listen, ask questions, and contribute when I actually have something worth adding. I'd rather walk away from one genuinely good conversation than collect twenty business cards from people I barely spoke to. The version of networking where you hover, glance around for the next target, and move on after 60 seconds? I find it exhausting to be on the receiving end of, and I don't do it.
After about ten minutes I'll wrap up naturally: "It was really nice talking with you — want to stay in touch? Can I add you on LinkedIn or WeChat?" Then I send a quick message when I get home. If the conversation was genuinely good, I'll suggest coffee. The only other thing I'd say: read the news, have a few opinions ready, collect some stories worth telling. Networking is a lot easier when you actually have something to talk about.
© 2026 Rachel Hong · Accelerator Consulting