Let me be upfront: I'm an introvert — INFP, to be exact. About 70% of the time I'd rather be alone. I don't light up at the thought of walking into a room full of strangers, working the crowd, and collecting business cards. But networking has been one of the most important things in my career. Most of my best opportunities didn't come from job boards — they came from relationships. So I had to figure out how to do this in a way that actually worked for me, not against me.
The biggest mindset shift is this: networking isn't about working a room or impressing strangers. It's about building real relationships over time with people who share your interests. When you think about it that way, it becomes much less performative. Introverts are often actually great at this — we tend to listen well, ask thoughtful questions, and stay present in a conversation rather than scanning the room for the next target. Those are networking superpowers, not liabilities.
For in-person events, go in with a strategy and give yourself permission to be selective. You don't need to talk to everyone or stay the whole time. Decide before you walk in: I'm going to have two or three real conversations, and then I can leave. That's a success. When I arrive, I start by finding the host — they know everyone and are happy to make introductions, which avoids the awkward standing-alone moment. I also look for whoever else seems to be standing solo. They're in the same position and would probably appreciate someone coming over. The food and drink area is a natural gathering spot: "Have you tried the —? Which one's good?" Easy, low-stakes opener. Once a conversation gets going, I let the other person talk about 70% of the time. I ask follow-up questions and find points where I can connect their experience to mine. I'd rather have one meaningful ten-minute conversation than ten shallow ones. After wrapping up: "It was great chatting — let's stay in touch. Can I add you on LinkedIn?" Then when I get home, I send a quick message while the conversation is still fresh.
For LinkedIn specifically, introverts often have an advantage — you can think carefully before you write, which leads to better outreach. A few tactics that have actually worked: Search for the job title you want and add "or manager or hiring team" to find posts from internal hiring teams actively inviting direct messages. Some companies explicitly welcome that kind of outreach. Customize every connection request — don't send the default blank invite. If you feel confident your background closely matches a role, reach out directly to the hiring manager so they see your profile without you waiting in the application pile. If you've worked at a recognizable company — even a China office of a global firm — put "Ex-ByteDance (TikTok)" or "Ex-PwC" in your headline. Then find alumni groups and connect with former colleagues who are now local. That shared history makes them far more likely to respond. And if you're serious about a particular role, tools like Lusha, Hunter, or LinkedIn Sales Navigator can help you find someone's email for a direct, well-crafted message with your resume attached. Almost no one does this, which is exactly why it stands out.
When asking for a coffee chat or Zoom call, try adding: "I'm happy to return the favor whenever possible." It signals that you're the kind of person who gives back, not just someone looking to extract value. That one line has meaningfully improved my response rates. The underlying skill in all of this is the same: getting comfortable being present with a stranger. Once that becomes second nature — even if it takes practice — networking stops feeling like a performance and starts feeling like what it actually is: meeting interesting people who might change the direction of your career. Follow me for more networking advice that works for real people.
© 2026 Rachel Hong · Accelerator Consulting