A lot of people are using LinkedIn to set up coffee chats with the hope of getting an internal referral. I've been on both sides of this conversation many times. Here's how to make it worth both people's time.
First thing: a coffee chat is essentially an informal interview. Whether or not someone refers you comes down to whether they believe in your ability and actually like you. Do your homework beforehand. Look at their LinkedIn profile carefully. I tend to reach out to alumni, former colleagues, people who post regularly on LinkedIn, people with detailed profiles, and people who've done volunteer work — because those people tend to be more open to networking and genuinely enjoy helping others.
When you connect on LinkedIn, reference something specific they've posted — a link they shared, an article they wrote, a career move they made. Show that you've paid attention to their journey and that you want a real conversation, not just a transaction. Ask for 15–20 minutes on Zoom or 30 minutes for an in-person coffee. If it's in person, arrive early and offer to buy.
When the chat starts, introduce yourself briefly — your background, why you're specifically interested in their experience, what you're hoping to learn. Then actually have a conversation. Don't just ask questions and take notes — build on what they say, share your own perspective, make it feel like an exchange. Otherwise they're just doing free career advising for you, which isn't great.
Good questions to work through: Why did you choose this field? What are the real pros and cons? What does your day-to-day look like? What's the career path? Who are the key competitors? What's the culture like? Do you happen to know the hiring team for this role I'm interested in? What should I know going in? Would you be willing to take a look at my resume? If you think I'm a fit, would you be open to referring me?
And before anything else — send a thank you message afterward. Every time.
© 2026 Rachel Hong · Accelerator Consulting