The thing that separates people who are doing well in interviews from those who aren't often isn't whether they can answer questions correctly. It's whether they can turn the interview into an actual conversation — one that makes the interviewer look forward to working with them. This is the part nobody teaches you, and it's learnable.
Warmth and likability aren't just nice-to-haves in professional culture — they're active evaluation criteria. Hiring managers are asking themselves: would I want to have a difficult conversation with this person? Would they speak up when something isn't working? Would clients or colleagues enjoy being around them? These aren't things you can fake in the moment, which is why the work needs to happen before the interview. The goal is to come in knowing your material well enough that you can forget about it and just have a real conversation.
The first few minutes of any interview are social, not substantive. They'll ask how your commute was, whether you found the office okay, maybe a comment about the weather. This is not filler — this is where they're forming their initial impression of you as a person. Being warm, present, and genuinely pleasant during small talk matters. Have a topic or two ready: something interesting you noticed about their office, a genuine comment about something you read about the company. Show up as a human being, not a candidate executing a performance.
When it comes to talking about past employers and colleagues — even if your situation was genuinely bad — never be negative. The interviewer is quietly asking: will they talk about us like this someday? The way you handle that question tells them everything about how you'll behave when things are hard. Frame departures around growth and opportunity, not frustration or conflict. The candidates who stand out are the ones who can be honest about challenges without becoming a complaint about someone else.
The best way to build this skill is to practice it in lower-stakes settings before you need it in an interview. Go to in-person networking events and practice talking to strangers one-on-one — Meetup, Eventbrite, alumni chapters. Push yourself to initiate conversations, not just respond to them. Join a Toastmasters chapter — it sounds old-fashioned, but it works. The skill you're building is telling your own story in a way that's compelling and controlled, in front of a real audience. If you're single, a dating app is genuinely one of the best ways to get comfortable with first conversations — by the time you're interviewing for senior roles, first-round nerves are basically gone. Volunteer work is another underrated option: when you're working alongside people at a food bank, conversation happens naturally, the dynamic is pressure-free, and it's a genuine way to expand your network. The underlying skill in all of these is the same: getting comfortable being fully present with a stranger. Once that becomes second nature, interviews stop feeling like performances. Follow me for more interview preparation advice.
© 2026 Rachel Hong · Accelerator Consulting